Sharing is Caring

Who do you confide in? No, seriously. Do you share your hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations with just anyone? Or do you keep the deepest, darkest and most personal part to yourself? If you’re the latter, well welcome to the club of pretty much everyone. I find it odd that in such a technologically progressive world, I’ve heard “I feel so alone in a crowd of people” from more people than I care to admit.

We all seem to think that we’re weird individual creatures from Mars whom others couldn’t dream of comprehending, but honestly that’s just not the case. Sharing is caring. What I mean by that, is the most you share with others, you’ll be surprised and elated to find out that you’re really not that different from those you know. I mean really, it’s a mind blowing process.

Once upon a time, I used to think I was this strange person who had all of these weird ideas and concepts that we just completely against the typical norm. Then I shared parts of myself with others and came to realize I’m not as “weird” or “special” as I thought. Sure, my genotypes are pretty unique, but there are a bunch of 20 Somethings out there running around trying to figure out where and how they fit into this world.

The more I shared with others, the more connected I began to feel and it’s quite awesome! I will admit though, that once I found out that I was vanilla boring, my ego deflated a bit. Drat, I thought I was unique and special. In all honesty, it is nice to know that I’m not the only one on Mars. Turns out we’re all on it. ;-)

So in an effort to share more, I’m going to toss out into the blogosphere my hopes and aspirations that I usually keep close to the vest. I either felt that people would think they were stupid or lofty so I kept them to myself. I like to think of myself as “practical” (scared) and I try to do the conventional thing. But convention is boring and lame; and the wild child in me is dying to come out. Here are a few things that I want to achieve sooner than later. Don’t judge me too hard, haha!

Things I’d Like to Accomplish

1. Be a features writer for several magazine publications, writing on culture, music, etc. etc. etc. I love people, especially my generation. We’re idealistic, scared, fun, interesting people in which I love to observe. So if I had my way, I’d be doing more of that and less of dreaming about it. (Hm, I smell a call to action soon)

2. Get to Sweden. I’d love to go visit the country. When I was in college, I had studied a lot of their public policies and they have some cool things going on over there. (Paternity leave, how cool is that?!)

3. Get a loft in downtown LA. It’s funny when I was in school in LA, I hated it (Granted it was a difficult time in my life). But now after being away for a few years, I am dying to go back. I’ll make it happen one day!

In short, let’s keep it real and talk to people. It’s incredibly fun and very eye opening on how we all want the same thing; which is to be happy and enjoy life as it comes our way. What are some things you keep to yourself? I’d love to hear about it!

My First Coffee Experience

My first introduction to drinking coffee came about when I was a mere 12 years old. I was away at a weekend camp that my school attended every year. This year, I was a mentor to the 6 graders (Because in 7th grade you’ve acquired enlightenment). As a mentor, it was clear that I’d reached the epitome of maturity.

At this camp there was a gift shop in which they sold iced coffees. At 12, I thought that coffee was the drink of intellectuals; and since I considered myself to be highly intelligent, I just knew coffee was for me (In Laymen’s terms I thought I would seem cool and smart so I just had to partake in the ritual). So I went to the gift shop, forked over $3.25 (which was a lot for coffee back in 2001) and bought my very first coffee. I should also mention that my parents did not allow me to drink coffee (But when the cat’s away…). After recoiling from the cost of this forbidden beverage, I waited eagerly during its preparation. A few minutes (which seemed to be an eternity) passed by and I was handed my iced blended coffee.

With my other mentor buddies who also decided to join in on the coffee experience, I sipped my first induction into greatness. DISGUSTING!!! This was the thought that was screaming in my head. The bitter icy sludge that I was ingesting seemed to be more a form of torture than a rite of passage. Of course to save face, I nonchalantly hid my displeasure from the group and casually kept sipping as if all was right in the world.

I did not finish my drink that day. I remember thinking to myself, “Who on earth would drink that crap?!” I was confused, dismayed, and discouraged. All this while, I believed the path to enlightenment rested on this nectar called coffee, a beverage that I did not like! To add insult to injury, everyone else seemed to love it! (I would later find out that all of my friends hated it and just wanted to be “cool” too). So to get over my disappointment of not enjoying coffee right away, I decided to put my quest for enlightenment on hold. It would be a few years before Starbucks entered my world, but, for anyone who would listen, I was an avid coffee drinker from that day on. ;:-)

How to Have a Successful Introvert/Extrovert Friendship: From an Introvert’s Perspective

 For those who know me in the “real world”, you know that I am a total chatty Kathy. I love talking to people, especially on topics I’m interested in. Strike up a conversation on something I love, I light up like the stars in a night’s sky and will gesture with enthusiasm. While this is very true and I love being in the presence of others, I need time to recharge my social batteries. Yup, I’m an introvert. I tried to deny this for some time because stereotypically, we associate introversion with some atypical shy person who cannot carry on a conversation to save their lives.  That may be true in some cases, but I assure you it does not fit everyone. Chances are, your introverted friends are the ones who are great listeners and dispense some pretty solid advice. You go to them for emotional support. Since introverts operate in an internal manner, these functions can be pretty draining.

I have all types of friends who all have different personalities (it makes for great stories). Interestingly enough, I have a tendency to be drawn towards people who are extroverted. I’ve been fortunate enough to have become close with people who pretty much get my M.O. so it’s been great. Sometimes there is a disconnect between friends when one wants to communicate more frequently than the other. Problem is, if you don’t give me time to gear up for the next adventure, I get a little overwhelmed and become unresponsive. It’s not because I’m trying to be rude, it’s simply the fact that I need time to chill. So in light of recent events, I’m listing a few points on how to keep a meaningful introvert/extrovert friendship going.

1. Be Welcoming 

The myth is that introverts will not talk to strangers. That is absolutely untrue. Just today I was at the grocery store buying syrup and a lady mentioned how it doubled in price since last week. Since she was pleasant and friendly, I had no problem chatting with her about different grocery items that have surged in price recently. Conversation can be intimidating for introverts, but if you start off with a congenial attitude, you’d be surprised by the outcome.

2. Be Patient

I like to have time to think about things. Very seldom (if ever) do I go through with a plan that has not been thought out. So if you’re introverted friend seems a bit hesitant about anything, give them a chance to process and they’ll eventually come around. Unless it has anything to do with snakes, then I’m out. No exceptions.

3. Give Them Space

I love hanging out with my friends, I really do. At times if I’m out and about for extended periods of time, I have to have some off time. Usually I’ll unwind by reading a book, crocheting, or going on walks with Abbey. So it’s fair to say that I’ll check out for a little while. It’s mostly a day’s time and then I’m back in the social saddle ready to ride off again. Point is, quiet time is important for introverts to get back out into the social scene.

4. Don’t Push

Here’s where some challenges can occur. If I don’t get the space that I need, I go AWOL socially. Which means I don’t answer texts, calls, or anything in between. I get that this can be seen as rude to some, but I assure you it’s not meant maliciously. The reality is that when you invade an introvert’s space, it can be seen as overwhelming. Of course that’s not the intent but it’s how the receiver can feel. Case in point, if I get a bunch of texts while I’m trying to unwind, it’s overwhelming. I cannot  maintain that style of constant communication, even if it’s on something I’m interested in. It’s like a tidal wave of communication coming at me all at once and all I want to do is throw my phone into the trash. At that point, I won’t respond and will need a cooling off period before I can engage. Later on, when I’m feeling up to it, I’ll get around to responding. If you have a friend who gets a bit standoffish, chances are, they’re feeling a bit overwhelmed. Let them take a beat and they’ll get back to you. If you keep pushing, all they’ll do is prolong responding.

5. Don’t Take it Personally

I love my zany outgoing friends. They push me to get out of my comfort zone to do things I wouldn’t do on my own. With that being said, I still need my down time. If your introverted friends don’t want to hang out, most of the time it has nothing to do with you. It just means that they are mentally relaxing and getting prepped for the next awesome hang out session. Once you understand the method to their madness and give them the opportunity to reach their social equilibrium, they’ll be back out in no time, ready for the next adventure.

So those are some quick tips for extroverts on how to get along with their introvert pals. I do have some advice for my introvert cohorts as well.

1. Be Receptive

A general misnomer is that introverts are shy. That’s not always the case. If a person is offering you a “social olive branch” try your best and meet them halfway. A little growth never killed anyone

2. Ask For Time

If you take some time to make decisions, tell your friends what’s up. Don’t feel pressured to just blurt anything out. Chances are that our extrovert counterparts don’t operate in this type of mindset and that’s ok, but make your intentions clear.

3. Ask For Space 

I straight up tell my friends when I’m going “off the grid”. Telling people that you need space is not rude, especially if it’s crucial to your wellbeing. We’re all different and may not see eye to eye on things, so communication is key. Just send an “I’m currently checking out” message to your friends and get back to them when you feel up to it.

4. Set Boundaries

If you have a well meaning friend who doesn’t seem to get the message, after you’re done with your hiatus, have a heart to heart with that person. Explain why you need your space and make sure that you get it. If they care for you at all, they’ll respect that. If they don’t, well that’s on them and they clearly are not respecting your need for space.

5. Let Them Know You Appreciate Your Friendship

It’s tough to hear that your friend wants some down time, so it’s important that you let them know how much you enjoy their friendship. I try as much as possible to let my friends know how much they mean to me. It helps them understand that it’s “not their fault” when you need space.

Honestly, if I try to be social when I haven’t had time to recuperate, I’m kind of an ass. It’s like a 5 year old who hasn’t had their afternoon nap; they become cranky and emotional. Once they wake up from that nap, they’re back to being the sweet kid they once were; it’s the same for introverts. So that’s my take on how to maintain a legit friendship between an introvert and extrovert. Introverts on the webs, do you agree? Also, all the extroverts out there what do you require for a friendship to be successful? I want to hear your opinions. :-)

Why I Hate Those “25 Things You Should do at 25…” Lists

So I’m gonna go on a little rant here. I was on Facebook (first mistake) and saw that an acquaintance posted a list from Thought Catalog titled: 25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25. Naturally I clicked on it (second mistake). Then finally, I read the whole entire thing (third and final mistake) It lists a bunch of things like “having a best friend that’s like a sister” and “having thank you cards in your drawer”, the list goes on and on. Please feel free to read it to get the gist of my annoyance. While I understand that the writer is trying to “empower women” and all that jazz, I can’t help but be supremely irritated by lists of this nature.

1. They are just as oppressive as the oppression they are trying to go against

I can tell you right now that I know a bunch of people (myself included) who do not fit this criteria who are either 25 or near it. So apparently I’m doing life wrong according to this list. Let me go crawl into bed now that I’ve realized I’m a failure at life. WRONG.  The author I guess identifies herself as a feminist, yet uses words and phrases such as, “tact, grace, and the ability to find shoes off of a 40% off rack” to describe how women should act or aspire to be by 25. I’m not even going to get into the gender connotations those words and behaviors imply. If you were going for gender equality, boy you sure nailed it. She also talks about the confidence to eat whatever and to be herself. Hm, how about the confidence to realize and justify that this list is chock full of romanticized crap that I nor anyone else has to adhere to. I mean seriously? How about this, I’ll “be myself” and forget that I ever read this list. Anyone (both male and female) should be able to live their life without having to check with a list to see if they’re doing it right. Life is not a “one size fits all” endeavor and everyone comes into their own path in a unique way.

2. It perpetuates the “Should” mentality

Everything on this list tells you what you “should” be doing. People are impressionable and by creating “standards” for them to live by can make them feel like crap if they haven’t achieved them. One of the biggest problems I see in our (millennial) generation is that we compare ourselves to each other way too much. The only thing that you “should” know when you’re 25 is that life is a confusingly beautiful adventure and it’s yours to do with as you see fit.

3. It is saying that every 25 year old has the exact same aspirations and expectations out of life

We are all different in this amazing and crazy world. My “norm” may be completely off base of what your “norm” is. And you know what? That is perfectly ok. We do not have to see eye to eye on everything, nor should we aspire to be cookie cutter drones. The dangerous thing about lists like these is that the author is perpetuating her sense of normalcy onto others and is passing it off like it’s dogma from the heavens. Who cares if you waited until you were 35 to learn how to change a tire. Maybe you hate shopping and are not savvy at a clearance rack. The beauty of life is that, as long as we’re still on this earth, we have the ability to learn, grow, and change when the time is right for each and every individual.There are no time limits on growth and all expectations need to be thrown out of the window.

Ok, now that I’ve said my peace, my only “list” for you is to live your life in a manner that makes you happiest. So long as you are not hurting others, be free to be whoever you are. Don’t take lists like these to heart, if you are 25 and you don’t have 3 months of livable income in the bank, don’t fret, most people of that age don’t (I mean, student loans, anyone?). Let’s stop placing our expectations of one another and just enjoy life as it comes. Lastly, if you value your life at all, forget that Thought Catalog ever existed. You’re self esteem and wellbeing will thank you for it. Also feel free to ignore my advice, I don’t have all of the answers either, nor do I want to place my values on others. As for now I’m off to find a 40% off shoe rack… ;-)

Why I Love Coffee

Good Morning!

I’m having a slow start and feel exhausted, which is weird because the mornings are generally my time to shine. Have you ever had one of the mornings where you are just so tired that you feel like you can’t comprehend much? That’s me today. Well fortunately I’ve made myself a big ol’ cup of java and hopefully that will get me a kick in the pants to start writing. You know the kind that actually pays the bills, lol. I hope everyone has a great caffeinated morning and a fantastic day! Happy Hump Day!

cheezburger.com 

15 Random Facts About Me

I figure in an effort to share more with the world, I’d give you guys a glimpse into the mind of the girl behind this blog. Here are a few facts about me ;-)

1. I.Hate.Pants. If it wasn’t considered indecent exposure, I wouldn’t wear them. Boyshorts FTW!!!

2. I am left handed. Meaning, I think in my right mind.

3. I am the middle child. I’m sure that explains a lot haha.

4. I am very close with my parents. They’re pretty legit, and no, they are not sponsoring this post, promise. ;-)

5. I am a closeted introvert. Honestly most people don’t know this because of my bubbly demeanor, but  l like to escape to my room with my fur-child to recuperate after most social festivities. Also, very animated people overwhelm me, lol. Don’t worry, I can be coaxed out of my cave with a caramel macchiato and good conversation. This works for any bribe, you know just in case you need an excuse to bring me coffee :-)

6. I am a good listener and keeper of secrets. In fact, my hair is full of them.

7. I am an early bird. I love waking up before the sun does.

8. Libra is my sign. I don’t really put much stock in astrology, but the balance thing is pretty spot on.

9. Confrontation is not my thing. Seriously, I’m all about keeping the peace.

10. I come from a musical family. I play multiple instruments and teach too.

11. Classical and Jazz are my two favorite genres. If all other music died tomorrow, I’d be ok with that.

12. I love people watching.

13. I have some serious love for my home state. Cali pride til I die!

14. I love live music, mainly for the people watching and good vibes.

15. I keep a few close friends, so if you’re in my rotation, consider it an honor ;-)

Welp that’s a little about me. Hopefully that gives you a better understanding of my neurotic personality. :-)

What are some random facts about you???

Let me know in the comments!

5 Things You Shouldn't Say to A Freelancer

By definition freelance means:  A person who sells services to employers without a long-term commitment to any of them. Now that we have that covered, a freelancer can be involved in virtually any industry doing almost anything. But for the sake of this post, I’ll be talking about freelance writers. Believe it or not, the writing industry is incredibly vast and there are so many avenues one can take. No matter which niche you decide on, writing as a profession takes some serious commitment and is not as easy as one might believe. With that being said, I’ve heard from my peers some of the most unintentionally ignorant remarks about freelance writers that tend to make my blood boil. Without further ado, here are 5 things you shouldn’t say to a freelancer.

“I wish I could sleep in”

On the contrary, freelancing has made me more punctual than I have ever been in my 24 years of existence. I have a set morning routine in which I wake up before the sun (early bird over here), get coffee, walk a few miles with Abbey, shower, and get ready to start working. I find that mornings are best for me when it comes to working. In addition, besides doing actual work, I’m always reading up on brushing up my writing or looking at new projects. Since you’re getting work from companies, it’s best to keep normal business hours. Most successful freelancers take their work seriously, thus have set hours in which they work.

“I’d love to work in my pajamas”

To be honest, I’ve never worked in my PJs. I do have an aversion to pants, but most times I am fully dressed. Freelancing is different than the traditional 9-5 but it still is work, so I treat it as such. By getting dressed I set the tone that I am in “work mode”. Plus being in your PJ’s 24/7 just doesn’t sound appealing to me.

“Must be nice not having a boss”

While I do not have a “direct supervisor” I do have editors to please and it can at times be a bit trickier than your traditional boss. Editors that I have worked with come in all different shapes and sizes. Meaning to say some have given great direction and communication and others… well, might as well be speaking in a different language. Having the same boss would at least give you the ability to understand their expectations. Don’t get me wrong, I like it this way, but it’s not all sunshine and daisies as some might believe.

“You must not like people, or you’re anti-social”

Just to clarify antisocial is a term that is supposed to be used for the likes of Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. I assure you, I am not a serial killer. I do like people though that can be debated from time to time. Some think that freelancers are by nature hermits. That is totally not true. Sure, I have to make more of an effort to socialize, but it’s something that I try and keep up with. Not having coworkers was one of the hardest adjustments I had to make. I have had some interesting times with the help of Meetup.com (more on that later). Plus I’m sure my dog only listens to me for Dentistix so for her sake and mine, I make time to hang with friends.

“When are you going to get a real job?”

The biggest and most common insult of them all. I get this a lot from well meaning friends who do not understand what I do.  While the human side of me wants to point out that I make more per hour than they do, I simply smile and say I’m happy with where I am. I suppose to the outside world, I get to sit on my bum and ponder life’s mystery while magically getting paid. I get that it’s hard to understand the ins and outs of freelancing, I’m still figuring it out myself really. But seriously, it is real work in exchange for real money.

To be frank, if I worked the way my peers thought I did, I’d be broke living in a van down by the river. I am not an existential hippie smoking peyote while doling out philosophical advice to the masses. Sure it’s not the traditional method that most people are accustomed to, but there are guidelines that I adhere to in order to be successful. So next time you want to ask your friend, neighbor, cousin, or whomever about their freelance endeavors, it’s ok to be inquisitive, just don’t be a douche. :-)

linguistblog.com

5 Things I'm Thankful For

Despite my constant whining about life, I am thankful for many things in my life. Sometimes I can forget to appreciate all that I’ve been blessed with. So here’s a list of things I’m thankful for and could not live without.

1. Family

I’m pretty sure I have the coolest parents around. Whenever I need some advice, words of encouragement, or I just need a hug, they’re always supportive with arms wide open. I’m even thankful for my siblings. We may not always see eye to eye, but as we get older they aren’t so bad ;-). My niece and nephews each stole a part of my heart when they were born. I don’t think they’ll be returning anytime soon either. If I had to choose my favorite occupation to date, it would be aunt. Also my furchild is seriously the best dog in the universe who loves me even when I’m not giving her treats. She helps me relax and enjoy the simple things and has taught me patience more ways than one.

2. Friends

Seeing as I’ve spent some time in several states, I have the privilege of having friends in different places. I’ve even managed to make a group of friends here in Vegas, which almost felt like a never-ending task in itself. Those girls provide me with awesome activities and shenanigans that I’m sure we’ll be talking about for years to come. I’ve managed to make some lifelong friends in this young life of mine and they are some of the best around. I am very thankful for everyone of them.

3. My Health

Obviously this makes the list as I would not be alive without it ;-). This is something I take for granted all the time. In reality my immune system kicks butt. I’ve rarely been sick, ever. In spite of my frustrations with trying to navigate this world, my body has never failed me. So thank you, self for keeping me healthy!

4. Starbucks

I know I know, spoken like a true junkie, but this place provides me with more than just coffee. There’s always a plethora of hot dudes, the baristas are super chill, and I get 90% of my writing done here (yes I’m at Starbucks at this very moment). I’ve actually gotten jobs out of Starbucks, I’ll do a post on that later. It is indeed my home away from home.

5. My Brain

I love my crazy little brain. If only you knew half of the craziness that goes on in my head. From time to time I’ll share my little blurbs with others, which usually incites a ton of laughter. I tend to look at things in the most random way and I would not change that for all the money in the world. Even with all of life’s insecurities, I can honestly I like the person staring back at me in the mirror. She’s pretty rad.

So to wrap this all up, I know I haven’t been the most positive as of late. Sometimes one can get wrapped up in this thing called life and that’s when you need to take a step back and appreciate what you have the most. Even just writing this, I have a smile on my face and am more so appreciative of my life and loved ones who fill it. Life isn’t always going to be sunshine and daisies, but looking back at all the awesomeness that is around me, I’ll deal.:-) So, what are you thankful for?

Taking a Coffee Break

Doing what you love as your occupation can be a bit daunting. I've always enjoyed writing so when I made the decision to become a freelance writer, I thought it would be a piece of cake. I'll be honest, it's not as easy as it sounds. Being conscious of my work and stressing over whether I did a good enough job are my main issues with my work productivity. Sometimes I'm so in my head, I create my own writer's block. So today, I decided to catch up with my friend, Summer who's been out of town for a few weeks. We headed over to one of my favorite local coffee shops, Sambalatte. If you're ever in Vegas, I highly recommend you check them out. Their Nutella Latte is amazing and my drink of choice. Catching up with Summer was a great way for me to get out of my thoughts and enjoy time away from my laptop. Now that I've had some friend time, I can get back to my work. I'm also working through "Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You" so bear with me as I'll be sure to write my review on it this weekend!  

Hello and Welcome!

   

Working from home provides me with a decent amount of time of my hands, so I've decided to jump into writing a blog about, well... writing! I absolutely love the written word. There's something to be said about how magical the imagination is, especially when a good book helps you transport into a different world. I just love it! I also love coffee, like a lot. I am a regular fixture at my local Starbucks and admittedly I know all of the baristas names and they all know me and my order (caramel macchiato). Currently, I just started reading "Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You" by Peter Cameron. I'm also in the beginning stages of writing my own works. So I hope you will join me in my journey of reading, writing, and caffeine! Cheers!